Don Gabor’s book, Turn Small Talk into Big Deals, offers a powerful argument against the “one-size-fits-all” approach to networking, positing that it can cause you to miss profitable connections with most people you meet. The book’s core objective is to increase your odds of connecting with prospects and clients by teaching you to quickly identify and adapt to four distinct conversation and networking styles.
The book’s framework is built on understanding and catering your approach to the four primary networking styles:
- Competitive Networkers: Action-oriented, direct communicators, motivated by fast and measurable results. They focus on big ideas, big goals, and the bottom line.
- Outgoing Networkers: People-oriented, friendly communicators, motivated by recognition and personal contact. They love small talk, are naturally warm, and excel at mixing and mingling.
- Amiable Networkers: Emotion-oriented, caring communicators, motivated by personal loyalty and teamwork. They are typically reserved and prefer to use words like “we,” “us,” and “our team”.
- Analytical Networkers: Detail-oriented, careful speakers, motivated by accuracy and deeper meaning. They value facts and logic and can find small talk to be an arduous task.
The most actionable content lies in the specific strategies and phrases provided for engaging with each style. Below are key tips and phrases for practical success with two of the major types:Tips for Networking with Competitive Networkers
Competitive Networkers (such as high-ranking sales executives or entrepreneurs) are bottom-line people who have little tolerance for time-wasting.
| Goal | Key Tip | Practical Phrases / Approach |
|---|---|---|
| Get Information Across | Get to the point—Fast! Use a bold headline and follow with the most important details, as “Less is more”. | State your idea plainly, focusing on outcomes and benefits like how it will save time, increase profit, or boost efficiency. |
| Build Rapport | Praise their prior achievements and visions. | Enthusiastic praise will boost their self-confidence and make them more likely to consider doing business with you. |
| Break the Ice | Ask a “bottom-line” or “big-idea” question. | Ask an open-ended question that allows them to elaborate on a recent accomplishment or endeavor. |
| Ensure Agreement | Check for understanding and agreement at key points in the discussion. | Give an executive summary of the conversation and ask for approval with: “Is that correct?”. |
Tips for Networking with Outgoing Networkers
Outgoing Networkers (such as those in sales, public relations, or teaching) are friendly and open to contact, but can dominate conversations or lose focus on details.
| Goal | Key Tip | Practical Phrases / Approach |
|---|---|---|
| Establish Rapport | Be personable, friendly, and conversational. | Encourage them to talk about themselves and laugh at their jokes, as they seek approval. Use big-picture concepts when you speak. |
| Show Appreciation | Show appreciation and recognition for their successful projects. | Ask them to describe a recent successful project. A great line is: “I’d love to hear more about your [project/deal].”. |
| Express Partnership | Express a desire to work together in the future and brainstorm together. | Encourage their creativity with compliments like: “What a great idea!” or “You’re a real idea person!”. |
| Keep it Positive | Keep your comments positive, as they are quickly offended by criticism or negativity. | Focus on what will work and avoid criticizing an idea, even if you think it won’t work. |
| Manage Details | Gently encourage attention to detail and check for accuracy. | Suggest they take notes, offer a brief written outline of your key points, or ask them to restate your main points to ensure accuracy. |